I’ve been pretty quiet on the blog side of things recently, for a whole number of unexpected reasons including changing the direction I’m taking my business but I really wanted to touch base on something that came up in a book I was reading.
Do you have those moments where something you’ve been doing for years (without necessarily realising) suddenly gets shifted to the front of your mind and you not only remember why you started doing it, but also get given the reason why it’s so important to you to do?
I had that kind of realisation the other week; in the most random of ways!
I was lucky enough to be gifted an early copy of Neil Pasricha’s newest book “You Are Awesome” and while I’m slowly reading it around my client work, there was a subtitle that just forced me to skip straight to that point in the book without reading the rest of the earlier chapters.
I hate skipping chapters in books I’m reading for the first time, so the fact that the title jumped out so much was telling to me. Thankfully I didn’t need to skip too far in!
What was the title that caused this reaction?
“I don’t waltz . . . yet.”
I know a lot of people would be scratching their heads over why this caused me to skip straight to it. It’s a pretty innocent title by all accounts.
However, the use of a negative statement followed by the word yet made me remember something I started doing several years ago and why I started it.
I’ve mentioned previously that I am involved in Roller Derby. I’ve been involved for years in different roles; including as a freshie skater. I struggle with skating, I always have; however, there is one thing that got reiterated every time one of my coaches heard me say “I can’t do this”.
I wasn’t allowed to say it without adding the word yet to the end of it.
My coach called it forced positivity.
Neil’s book covered the idea further. As he explained:
“There is power in moving slowly through the motions.
There is power in letting the story continue.”
You Are Awesome, Neil Pasricha
I’ve never looked at it as a means of letting the story continue, that it kept my options open but that’s exactly what I was doing!
I mean, subconsciously I would have, but it’s not something that I stopped to think about it. Just that I can’t do it now, but I might be able to if I keep working at it.
Options are so important in everything we do, and the words we use play a big part in this. I’ve had coaches pointing out to me that by stating something with the wrong words meant that it was being imprinted in my subconscious and that I would start believing it as gospel if I wasn’t careful; but I’ve never had it so clearly explained to me as why when I’m saying something that I could take as a negative. That by blantantly countering it by accepting that it’s not something I can do now, but I could given enough time, was so important.
The whole action of me doing this has carried through from Roller Derby, to running my business, to so many other different scenarios. Every time I catch myself saying I can’t do it, I add in yet at the end.
And now I know why.
So to G-Wrex who made me always say yet at the end of the sentence, I don’t know if you realised just how much of an impact your “forced positivity” would have on all those you coached. Thank you.
Note: While I was gifted the book, the thoughts raised from the book are my own.
You Are Awesome is available from the 5th November, 2019.